The other day I was talking to one of my favorite people in the world about shopping for clothes. She said something that I hear myself think every time I go shopping, “At this size, I don’t like to try on clothes or even spend a lot of money buying them. It’s not fun.”
How often does that thought creep in? “This would be a lot more fun if I were thin.” Granted, we need to take care of ourselves, we also have to enjoy being where we are instead of always looking forward to some future accomplishment. Sometimes we take for granted chances to have a good time and feel better now because –sigh- we’re not thin.
Two words: Screw that!
Don’t feed the lie that you’re valuable or cute as a thin person and not just as you are. (By the way, why is it that men don't understand where women get that idea? I guess they never had a friend or family member scoot a diet coke over in place of what they were drinking or tell them how great they are only to follow up with, "You'd be the whole package if you were just thin." I digress.) Don't miss your life dwelling over that thought. (I'm saying this to myself as much as anyone.) You are who you are at any weight, at least I hope so. So will you be smarter or funnier or nicer when you’re thin? Appreciate yourself. You are not just the size written on your clothing tags. Ok?! (I’m getting worked up over here.)
When we learn to respect ourselves as we are, we can open ourselves up to improving without tearing ourselves down at every turn. Seriously.
And when I say 'respect yourself' I'm talking about the attitude we take daily. I see this in myself in several ways. I am the queen of self-deprecating humor. It gets a laugh every time. But sometimes I really think that's a cruel way to act toward myself. Yeah, some things are funny and should be taken lightly. But then I see that I take it too far sometimes, too. Don't do that. I'm trying to teach myself not to do that. You have to be the one to see what you're made of and set the bar for how you should be treated. If you're not careful, you allow negativity into your life. And it's hard to get out of that. There are other examples, but I think you see what I'm saying. You have to have an attitude of self respect or you won't make it very far with you, or anyone else for that matter.
Put another way, you can’t be that parent in the stands yelling insults every time their son misses a ball. Nobody likes that guy. But we do what we would NEVER do to another person to ourselves—we insult and criticize to a merciless extent. Don’t. Just don’t. Learn to cheer yourself on and appreciate who you are on the whole. Then you can coach yourself into a better position. Right? You can move forward without all the stress and unhappiness.
And when I say 'respect yourself' I'm talking about the attitude we take daily. I see this in myself in several ways. I am the queen of self-deprecating humor. It gets a laugh every time. But sometimes I really think that's a cruel way to act toward myself. Yeah, some things are funny and should be taken lightly. But then I see that I take it too far sometimes, too. Don't do that. I'm trying to teach myself not to do that. You have to be the one to see what you're made of and set the bar for how you should be treated. If you're not careful, you allow negativity into your life. And it's hard to get out of that. There are other examples, but I think you see what I'm saying. You have to have an attitude of self respect or you won't make it very far with you, or anyone else for that matter.
Put another way, you can’t be that parent in the stands yelling insults every time their son misses a ball. Nobody likes that guy. But we do what we would NEVER do to another person to ourselves—we insult and criticize to a merciless extent. Don’t. Just don’t. Learn to cheer yourself on and appreciate who you are on the whole. Then you can coach yourself into a better position. Right? You can move forward without all the stress and unhappiness.
So how do you move forward with a positive outlook?
*ahem* I hope you don't expect me to keep getting deep here, because here it comes.
Have you ever bought a nice outfit that you knew looked good on you? (And I’m not talking about when you were thin, I’m talking about when you were ‘thick’ as my friend Brandon would say.) Maybe it was the right color to make your eyes pop or it showed off a part of your figure that you’re proud of.
Ally may kill me for this, but one of her cutest physical features is her legs. I know she always looks good in a skirt, whether she’s at the sleek weight she’s reached now after a lot of hard work or at her weight a year ago. For me, it’s that I’m curvy at any weight. I don’t have cute legs, never really have, but I can rock a dress with a belted waist like nobody’s business. We have to find what’s positive about our bodies right now and make the best of it. Let’s face it, you’re going to feel better when you take care of yourself. That’s with food and exercise, sure, but you can also take care of yourself in other ways.
Finding ways to pamper and value yourself now will help you build self-respect and confidence so that you can make daily choices to eat better and move more. When you stop beating yourself up all the time and start enjoying your life in the moment, it makes the rest easier.
So what you can do? You can buy a flattering outfit and take an extra half hour getting ready. That’s nice. A little expensive, but nice. You could also have a spa night once a week at home. That's cheap. And let me tell you, I like cheap. Pampering really improves my outlook. It makes me slow down, realize something I need, and take action. Not to mention, I always really enjoy the outcome of something like a nice pedicure that makes my feet pretty in sandals, etc. Taking the time to take care of your body teaches you to value it and take pride in it. It helps you look on the bright side and seek out more good things.
So my challenge to you this week isn’t to hit the gym 10 times or eat salad every meal, it’s to take time to do two things:
1) Accentuate the positive in your figure. It can be as simple as putting a stylish belt over a nice shirt or wearing skirt or even finding the right earrings to make your eyes sparkle.
2) Give yourself an at-home beauty treatment. Find an area of your body that could use some TLC and take the time to take care of it.
In other news...
Will and I are still biking every week. I’m trying to hit 20 miles every time we go out. Eventually, I hope to work up to 30 miles. It’s a work in progress! I’m excited to earn stamina on my bike. We’re actually talking about signing up for a sprint distance triathlon next spring. For me, having a goal to work for motivates my workouts.
Stay positive and enjoy the bits of sunshine God is sending through the clouds today.
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I do want to share one clip before I go. The title for this post came from a movie I have watched maybe once or twice (ok, or more). It's one of my guilty pleasures. In the movie, this speech happens. Let's watch then I'll continue my point...
I really thought it was a great speech. Afterward, she tells a friend what he said. Her friend replies with a something like, "What? JUST AS YOU ARE?! Not with bigger boobs or a smaller nose?" HA!
It's good to be liked as you are, even with all the quirks and issues you may have. Appreciate the people who feel that way about you, but -- better yet -- be the person who feels that way about yourself.
I do want to share one clip before I go. The title for this post came from a movie I have watched maybe once or twice (ok, or more). It's one of my guilty pleasures. In the movie, this speech happens. Let's watch then I'll continue my point...
It's good to be liked as you are, even with all the quirks and issues you may have. Appreciate the people who feel that way about you, but -- better yet -- be the person who feels that way about yourself.
