Sleepy, But Not Falling Asleep On My Keyboard (Erin)

Well, I did all a girl can do about being tired. Last night I went to bed at 8:15. That was different. My body was in full interrogation mode as soon as I laid down, "Who are you? How have you overtaken the brain of my owner? I don't get in bed this early. Are you listening to me? I do NOT get in BED this EARLY!"

Somehow I still managed to sleep quite a few more hours than normal. I got up at 4:30 a.m. to run intervals at the gym. Of course girl-who-has-legs-longer-than-Gisele-and-runs-60-mph got on the treadmill right next to mine. It was fine. I wanted to high five her on my way out, but I'm not tall enough to reach her hand. I didn't know statuesque people existed outside of Hollywood. And I thought maybe they just knew a few camera tricks.

Just to be sure I was doing all I could do to revive myself I threw in a vitamin and had breakfast, including  two shots of espresso. I really thought maybe I was going to turn the corner on this sleepwalking-through-the-day thing, but to be honest with you I'm still pretty exhausted.

My goal is to finish a weight training session after work and go to bed early again. The bad thing about missing sleep is you get to a point where one night of rest won't completely heal the damages of several nights of losing sleep.

This Halloween I've noticed there are a ton of fitness Halloween parties. Have you? A couple of local yoga studios are hosting sessions where you dress up. There are multiple Zumba classes incorporating costumes. In fact, Ally went to Zumba last night as Superwoman! I'm trying to get her to post a picture - she looked fab!

So I won't ramble, I am stopping now. More to come!

Give Me Sleep (Erin)

I just ate two poptarts. And drank a Mountain Dew. Somebody pray for me.

Why did I do this to myself? Because I haven't been sleeping well FOR DAYS and my body is crazy. When I don't sleep my appetite increases...but never for healthy food. I always want something with an instant energy boost -- sugar. I always want sugar.

My resolution for the day is to accept that I have been off lately and drive myself straight home after work to go to bed. Yes, I am going to beat every 80-year-old in my time zone to bed tonight. Seriously. Because this just is NOT about to keep going. When a girl washes TWO poptarts down with a can of Mountain Dew it's time for drastic measures. Tired me has to go. That girl has to go!

And now I have to go to a meeting. *groan* And I'm supposed to pay attention...is somebody praying for me? Do you have any friends nearby who are praying people? Y'all all pray for me!

Your friend who needs to get it together,
Erin

5K Ready! (Erin)

Last weekend, I reached a HUGE milestone. I ran not only the 5K distance but beyond it -- 3.27 miles total. For me, this is absolutely exhilarating! Thank God I've made it this far! Never in my life have I been able to jog this distance. Looking back ten years, I only jogged a mile. Wow.

Don't think I look like a gazelle, I'm really slow when I jog. But I can do it. And I figure once you build the endurance to run distance, then you work on the speed. Right? So it's a good start.

I have noticed that my  mind wants to give up before my body is tired of running. It's not uncommon that I have this dialog in my head:
I don't want to do this.
-Shut up.
I'm getting a little tired.
-You're fine.
My knee just ached a little.
-It's five steps later and it's not aching.
How far did I say I was going to go.
-Not as far as you're actually going to go. Let's do this thing.

Though aspects of jogging are enjoyable, I'm still not in great shape so it's uncomfortable at points to keep going. I really believe that once my body is fit to run I'm going to like it. It's not going to be a night at the movies, but I think it'll be a nice and thoughtless release for me.

When I ran 3.27 miles yesterday, I told myself I'd make it the 2.8 I had gone during my best run last week then wing it. If I was done at 2.8 then I'd be ok with that. If I felt I could keep going, I would. So I let go of my mental log at 2.8 and went with it. It's amazing how much you're capable of when you stop arguing with yourself and live in the moment, with no internal whining.

Now, I'm feeling ready for the 5k with two weeks left. Praise Jesus! It's been a long road here.

Aside from that huge news, not much to report. This week's menu includes:

Grilled Cheese Breakfast Sandwich

http://simplycooking.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/grilled-cheese-sandwich-with-bacon-and-fried-egg/
I'm thinking center-cut bacon, double fiber wheat bread...just a few modifications.


Pork Chops with Mushrooms

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/12/pork-chops-with-mushrooms-and-shallots.html

Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/10/skinny-buttermilk-mashed-potatoes-with.html

Roasted Pumpkin Seeds, since we just carved pumpkins!

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/09/roasted-pumpkin-seeds.html
I may use this general recipe but substitute Paula Deen seasoning for salt to add an extra kick.
For variety, I may also make a lighter version of Rachael Ray's sweet and spicy pumpkin seeds: http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/sweet-and-spicy-pumpkin-seeds/

Here's to the beginning of a new week!

I'd Rather Be A Fighter (Erin)

It’s gonna be a big one. Rant, that is.

I am so imperfect that it deserves mentioning before I tear into this subject. I mean, if I had this whole exactly-how-to-lead-a-healthy-lifestyle thing figured out this blog wouldn’t exist. So I’m NOT ranting as an expert who must be listened to. This is of no more worth than just a girl off the street with a fire lit under her.

This morning, when I got into work, a coworker was in the office next to mine discussing lap-band surgery. At a low point, I once considered the option as well. I’m sure it has been a useful tool for some people, but I ultimately decided that without the right habits I would end up in the same situation again with or without surgery. So I let that whole thing go.

When she talked about the surgery, she kept saying things like this:

**I know it’s a quick fix, but once I saw how good I could look it would motivate me to keep working on myself.

**I just feel so unattractive.

**People lose weight so fast with it!

Listen, my biggest concern for her in all of this is that she’s not trying anything before she jumps right to surgery. Some people exhaust all other avenues and resort to surgery very soberly. She is skipping over all that and asking can the nice doctor please pull out his surgical kit, wave his magic scalpel, and make her troubles disappear so this can all be easy.

Is that harsh? Well, it may be. But I see her attitude that way from what I'm hearing her say. And I understand desperation enough to see that trajectory it puts us on.

When you’re desperate to have something you want it fast and you want as few obstacles in the way of you reaching it as possible. And you get reckless. You don’t consider the consequences or the commitment because you’re so overwhelmed by the best case scenarios. A big red flag in anyone's thinking should be when looks take precedence over health.

With weight loss, and more importantly weight management, there is no quick and easy. And – I hope you’re sitting down for this one – motivation really isn’t the main factor.

That’s right, motivation isn’t the big necessity. I said it. You read that right. You know what is going to make you successful? Commitment to building good habits.

If you are dependent on motivation to be successful, what do you do when you have a bad day? What if your weight plateaus? What if you get emotional about personal issues? Motivation is going to fail you.

Let me tell you, I am not motivated most days. I don’t get out of bed and start the pep rally. But I do accept my commitment as a priority and move forward. I accept that when I run it is going to hurt and go anyway. And I’m not the poster child for discipline, but I know it’s either this or bust.

Our commitment to anything is measured by our willingness to suffer for it. And after we have suffered for something our perspective on that thing grows clearer. We value it more.

The thing I keep seeing over and over again is that most of us want to be spared the suffering but not the benefits. And, in the past, that has been my mindset so I see what kind of damage that kind of thinking can do. Until you’re at a place where you can make a commitment and dig in during hardships you aren’t ready to earn the benefits, and you might not realize that those benefits have to be maintained over time.

I’m quite possibly not making a lot of sense here, but my point isn’t to tear anyone down. My point is to speak some truth. We really can get in shape and lose weight. But we have to be willing to pay for it. (And we don't pay a surgeon.) I think the most important thing to remember is it’s a lifestyle change.

Before I stop writing, let me reiterate something: You can’t have it easily, but you can have it in a way that sets you up for long-term success and builds your confidence.

You can get there if you're willing to go all in and learn over time how to cook well, how to order well, how to get in shape, how to stay in shape, how to stand up to your temptations, etc. And as you learn you have to stand face-to-face with your fears/weaknesses and chip away at them until they bend to your will and your habits. That’s tough work, and you don't always get it right the first time. But it teaches you what you’re made of. And growing stronger allows you to trust yourself and to be fit for the challenges that come your way, since you’ve learned to conquer so much already.

Don’t lose heart, even when it’s slow. Don’t give up when someone else loses 30 pounds in two days on a fad diet. This problem didn’t occur overnight and it won’t be solved overnight. You have to get up and fight your way through day after day. But every fight makes you stronger so it's an easier battle the next time.

Remember, you're becoming a hell of a person. A force. So let them have the easy way, I've never seen anyone hold any ground after taking the easy way out. (And that includes myself.) I'm in it to win for life not three months. And when you want something for life you realize you have to be persistent and patient. It's a completely different philosophy than getting skinny for a wedding or having surgery to control portion size. And it's the only solution that lasts.

PS I hope we will refuse to rest our self-esteem on body image. Seriously. That will drive a person batty. In fact, I think that's a lot of the reason we get desperate and start doing stupid things to lose weight. And I think that's how we pass on self-esteem issues to younger girls and each other.

We have to take pride in ourselves as whole people who are composed of much more complicated pieces than lips, eyes, hips, thighs...those things don't define us. What does is the way we manage our lives and how we play the hand God dealt us.  

Ok. Rant over. For now. :) Please be encouraged and find ways to be good to yourself today.

Being Chased and Being Choosy (Erin)

This weekend was amazing.

Saturday I took my run to the lake. It was a beautiful day so there were quite a few people out.

I actually intended to run at the track -- as is my MO -- but there was a pee-wee football game going on when I tried to go. Plan B was running around the lake. Really, that turned out a lot better than Plan A.

When I got to the running path, I realized I have no idea how far it is around. So...I turned on the workout app on my phone and let it record my distance and time by GPS. I told myself I wouldn't look at the distance, I'd run until it felt like I needed to stop and check at that point to see how much farther I had to go.

My goal was to make it 2.5 miles. That would put me on track for the 5k (which is now 18 days away). Once I started running, it felt great. It was a cool day. There was sunshine. I had entertainment since so many other people were out having fun. (LOVE to people watch.) And little funny things kept happening. Turns out, dogs and toddlers have a compulsive need to chase runners. At one point, a two-year-old boy was chasing me as his Dad chased him. At another, I had to stop for a second to catch someone's dog so they could climb the hill to get him. Pretty funny.

I thought about stopping about 2/3 of the way through. I realized I had more in me, so I decided to push on. That was about the time I got my second wind so it worked out nicely. When I did stop, I was fully prepared to see that my distance was not yet up to 2.5 miles and take off running again to close in on my goal. Guess what? When I pulled out my phone I had gone 2.8 miles!! That's very near the 3.1 miles I'm going to run in 18 days.

That was such a huge blessing to me. For one thing, I really think I could run the 5k now. I stopped at 2.8 miles, but I could've pushed it a little farther. My new goal is 3 miles by the end of the week.

All that to say, there's really something to that idea that our minds give up before our bodies. When I run the track I know my distance all the while. So my body is preparing to quit at a set point. When I ran blind, with no idea of my distance, I made it a lot farther because my mind lost it's placeholder for when I'd get to stop. That showed me I'm capable of a greater distance than I'd estimated.

I think I'll try to switch up my runs more often by removing distance markers. Besides being able to naturally push on without obsessing about how far I had come or had to go, I felt much more free to think and pray rather than count laps.

And another thing! I have discussed my hope to one day kick Lane Bryant to the curb. Well, last week I realized I'm in the smallest size they offer, and that's getting big. So...I decided to go shopping Friday and just see if I could go to the stores I shopped at as a skinny girl, years ago.

Tony joined me for part of this shopping trip. We went to Dillards and he got a personal shopper for me. Wow. Just wow. That was an experience. She started bringing me shirts to go with a pencil skirt I bought for a friend's wedding. I was very, very skeptical that they would fit because they were regular womens sizes and in my mind I'm a big girl. (I'm not a skinny girl, but I do think of myself as bigger than I actually am most of the time. I guess most of us do.) Guess what? The shirts fit! And they actually looked good because they didn't hang off me. Imagine. (My coworkers have been complaining that I need to buy clothes in a smaller size. I think they'll be glad to know I've started taking their advice. It just gets so dang expensive incrementally buying clothes.)

After Dillards, I decided to get braver. When I was probably 19 or 20 I really liked NY&Co. In fact, my Mom and I shopped there quite often. So I went over to see if I could squeeze into anything. I got a few shirts and headed to the fitting room. Guess what?! I fit into them! I was AMAZED.

Having been trapped in Lane for sooo long now it was really something to consider having the option of shopping at any store in the mall. This is going to save me a lot of money. Skinny girls don't have to pay as much because there's more competition for their business. I paid $18 for a nice business casual shirt at NY&Co. Pretty impressive considering I'd normally pay $30+ on the same thing on sale at Lane.

I'll be honest, I didn't try ANY pants on because I'm a pear-shaped girl. I'm still pretty sure my bottom half is not going to fit into any NY&Co. jeans yet. We'll see in a month or two. I could fit into some dresses, I'm just not brave enough to try the pants yet. I need to log a few more miles first to build my confidence.

I hope this week is starting well for you. For laughs, here's one of my favorite pictures. The caption is: Never give up on your dreams. :)

Write A New Ending (Erin)

I made some goals at the beginning of the week, and that led to some progress.

Yoga didn't happen, but I did take on a new challenge.

I'm a big fan of weight training, especially for people who are trying to lose weight. Why? Well, because it helps the process. As you build muscle your body burns more calories, even at rest.

Having been disappointed with my weight training lately (the circuit was too easy for the level of fitness I've grown into), I re-evaluated. As a result, a friend and I started doing a serious weight training program together.

Basically, we do two upper body workouts (chest, shoulders, arms, back) and two lower body workouts (legs, glutes, abs) a week. From what I've read, doing an exercises three days a week instead of two makes basically no difference.

It definitely meets the criteria for a challenging workout, and it has been motivating and almost (almost) fun doing it with a friend. Though, since I drug her into this, she has on more than one occasion told me she hates me while struggling to perform the last few repetitions of a particularly hard exercise. Ah well, she'll love me when she sees her body start to tighten up, right? :)

My workout buddy, Tara, is naturally thin. Her goal is to be toned. One thing I'm looking forward to is seeing whether the workout I'm designing is going to give her a knockout body. Because with her being thin we will see the results on her waaaayyy faster than we see my body change. So if she looks amazing, I know we're on track.

I DID make my distance goal with running. Actually, it was exceeded. I am now up to running 2.25 miles continuously! That leaves over a month for me to push my distance up to 5k range -- 0.85 miles to go! Thank God!

Lately I've been thinking about all the changes I've experienced over the last year. One thing that's clear is the point of this process isn't just to get skinny, it's to learn to live well and in doing so bring people I love along for the ride.

Some of the best memories I've made have nothing to do with the moment I got on the scale and saw a lower number (though that was pretty great). A lot of the really good times were simple. Having an enjoyable, healthy dinner with family at home. Going out to play a sport with friends. Challenging my best friends to find something active to do when we used to just sit around and eat pizza or watch a movie. Being challenged by fit friends to try something new.

It has been really inspiring to see my friendships stretch and change. From doing belly dancing with my roommate to playing disc golf with friends to taking a ballroom dance lesson with my best friend, we've found a lot of really fun, healthy ways to bond.

God has truly blessed me with wonderful people. From my family to my friends, I am overwhelmed with sweetness. It has been an amazing year.

Change is really hard. Especially at first, when people just haven't accepted you need them to support you. But when you find your stride and start really experiencing the benefits it's worth every struggle.

I hope you're blessed and making the day count. If you're struggling, here's one of my favorite quotes for hard days: No one can go back and make a new beginning, but anyone can start now and create a new ending.

Groceries and Inspiration (Erin)

I've seen a few people do this, so I'm going to try it. Honestly, it seems a little vain. But every time someone shows me their groceries for the week it inspires me. So I'm going to show you mine.

Ready? Ok, here we go...

Oh, and don't judge me. Our range really, really needed to be cleaned. Someone had cooked a couple of hours before...so we've got a little bit of a mess going on. It's embarrassing, but I'm still going to show you my groceries. Even if I'm blushing...ok, fine, I'm loading the picture...

Now, let's talk about what you're looking at.

Do you see that monster of a butternut squash in the back? Let me share a squash fry recipe (with cheesy, creamy sauce) that I'm going to try out:

2 lb butternut squash
-preheat the oven to 425 degrees
-spray two baking sheets with nonstick spray
-peel and de-seed squash, cut into fry-shaped strips, pat the strips dry, sprinkle with salt
-bake strips for 20 minutes, flip, bake 15 minutes longer

For the sauce, mix these ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl:
3 tablespoons fat-free sour cream (I'm using light. Don't like fat free AT ALL.)
1 tablespoon reduced-fat paremesan-style grated topping
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
dash black pepper
3 wedges Laughing Cow light cream swiss cheese wedges, diced
2 tablespoons water
-microwave at 50% power for 1 minute, stir, repeat for 30 seconds (or until the cheese is melted)
-spoon over fries and enjoy

**This recipe makes two servings. For the sauce, each serving came out around 100 calories with my ingredients.

Now, let's move on to something sweet -- anyone notice the chewy fudge brownies and canned pumpkin?? Guess what Dr. Oz has done? He's made brownies more waist-friendly!

Don't worry about the pumpkins throwing the taste off, no one ever notices that I use pumpkin in my chocolate desserts. Seriously. And I am surrounded by picky eaters.

The whole recipe consists of pureed pumpkin, a box of brownie mix, and 3 tablespoons of peanut butter. Ok, he adds lemon zest, but I'm just not going there. And might I suggest you use powdered peanut butter? Less calories. See the recipe here: http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/pumpkin-brownies

You can also see (sort of) the Laura's lean beef below the Sargento Parmesan cheese. I got it on sale! That was what clinched the deal for me. The taco seasoning on top of the meat is sufficient evidence of my plans for it. Add an onion in the browning process then pair a serving of meat with two small carb balance tortillas + a tablespoon of cheese and a dollop of sour cream on each + a little lettuce AND you've got an entree!

Ok, now back to the sweet tooth. Can you tell I have a big one? The bag of pecans is for a fudge recipe. Guess what the main ingredient in the fudge is? Dates. Yes, dates. See the recipe here: http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/02/08/german-chocolate-fudge-bites/

As you can already tell, I rarely leave a recipe as is. I am not a huge fan of dates. I like cranberries a lot better. So I may be royally jacking up this recipe, but I'm going to try it with dried cranberries.

Ok, now let's talk breakfast. I get in a breakfast rut on a regular basis. This week, I thought I'd try something new -- avocado toast. That's what the Nature's Own double fiber bread is about. You basically make guacamole (using half an avocado and other veggies -- I add tomatoes and onion with a splash of lime juice and salt), slather the guac onto a piece of toast, and add crispy cooked center-cut bacon to the top. Sounds good, eh? I thought so!

The rest of the groceries are a little boring:
--salad/tomatoes for tacos and lunch salads during the week (I have a main course for lunch, but I like a veggie on the side. This week's main course is frozen, pre-portioned Cooking Light chili mac two days and the next item on this list to break up my chili mac routine...)
--a Lean Cuisine meat lasagna (A girl needs a pasta fix now and then. This frozen dinner hasn't let me down yet. Where most frozen meals fail to satisfy me in taste or quantity, this one scores a perfect 10.)
--skim milk (Cream for coffee and a calcium-rich bedtime snack. Nuff said.)

Goals for the week:
**Go to yoga one time before the week is up. (I've gotten busy and scaled back to my minimal workouts -- 3 runs, 3 weight training sessions. And, honestly, my weight training hasn't been up to par lately. Need some balance in my life and time to clear my head. Yoga is great for that. Helps me refocus.)

**Study weight training plans. (My Curves routine served me well, but I'm starting to feel it's time for more of a challenge. I always talk about how building muscle helps increase metabolism and such. It's time to get more serious about my weight training routine.)

**Run 3x this week and see if I can't break 2 miles by Sunday.

Keep cutting your path! I'll be doing the same. Words of encouragement:

And a story about a wonderful lady who, at 72 years young, is running TEN MILES a day, weight training, and teaching an exercises class for her peers at church. AMAZING! We really have no excuses.

The story: http://www.yenihsworld.com/2010/04/inspire-me-sexy-grandma.html