Being A Loser (Erin)

Today I weighed in for the last week of the Biggest Loser contest. Total, I've lost about 12 pounds in six weeks.

Looking back, I think it was a good program. Each week a new challenge was set, a few examples being:
**walk 2 miles, 3 days this week
**keep a journal of how many hours of sleep you get per night
**keep a daily food diary
**talk positively to yourself for 10 minutes a day

I went into this competition already having established a workout schedule and daily food/nutrition goals. I really didn't think I'd learn much, it was more for the benefit of accountability. But I ended up getting a lot out of a couple of the weekly challenges.

For one thing, I suck at getting enough sleep. So, in general, I became a little more aware of how much of a problem I have and tried to find a way to improve.

But the weirdest thing I learned from was talking positively to myself for 10 minutes. Have you ever tried? Ten minutes is a LONG DANG TIME! I had the first 30 seconds covered, but when you get past that it gets awkward.

Most of the women in my life have a hard time expressing their better qualities, maybe because it seems too cocky and vain. But we ought to notice the best in ourselves, if for no other reason than to build ourselves up and be encouraged to keep growing.

So here's my super cheesy list of things I like about myself. Maybe you can steal a few ideas for your own list (which you should totally be making). Let's all have an Oprah moment here and be healthily introspective. Or all out vain. Whatever. :)

**I always find a new way to challenge myself. It may be taking on another duty at work or trying a new fitness class or doing something socially that scares the pudding out of me, but I always try to give life all I've got.

**I can do some pretty eye makeup, y'all. I may have some crazy looking hair and outrageous shoes, but I can do eye-popping makeup when I put forth an effort.

**I'm resourceful. This is especially good because I don't take no for an answer very easily, so I find a way to make things happen.

**I'm full of crap. If you know me, you know I will probably give you a hard time, but you also know I'll be the first one to have your back when you need me.

**I'm independent. I haven't spent my life waiting for someone to tell me it's ok to do something. I tend to cut my own path and go on with things, even if I have to do it alone.

**I laugh a lot. Wouldn't life be harsh if you couldn't find things to laugh about?

**I'm determined. I thank God for the strength to be able to change things for the better.

**I'm getting stronger physically. I feel myself becoming more graceful and sturdy.

**Most importantly, I am loved. By Jesus. By the best family a girl could hope for. And by friends who are practically adopted extensions of that family.

Random Update About My Closet and A Swimming Pool (Erin)

When's the last time you cleaned out your closet?

This week I did my spring cleaning...in the summer. I gutted my closet, took every scrap of clothing to the living room, sorted it out, and made a decision.

At my gym there's a sign that poses the question "How committed are you?" I've been thinking about that a lot. When I cleaned my closet, I threw out everything that was too big for me. To me, that's a huge step...mainly because I'm cheap, and I don't want to have to buy a lot of new (big) clothes. So it's an incentive to stay the course and keep losing weight.

You're probably thinking I threw out one or two bags of clothes? WRONG! I am getting rid of SEVEN trash bags full of clothes.

In a way, it was fun sorting through this massive mess. I found jeans that hung off me. (Yeah, I tried stuff on for the heck of it to see how it would fit.) I had shirts that looked like tents over my body. I found a pair of pants I wore SIX years ago that fit again. It was wonderful.

And it made me realize I don't need to hold on. I am praying and putting my faith in this change. So I've gotten rid of my safety net (read: horde of big clothes) and decided to make room for the things that fit the new, healthy me. Well...my closet is actually pretty bare. But I'm excited to see it that way. It's like an open space just waiting for possibilities.

In yoga last weekend, the instructor was talking about being -in- the present moment and realizing it is the most important place for you to be. It's not about where you were, it's about right now and where this moment leads. That really made sense to me in light of this journey into a healthier lifestyle.

It's so easy to get caught up in people's expectation of who you are based on who you used to be. Well, maybe not even everyone else's expectation, sometimes you want to judge yourself based on your history. I do, anyway. But what happened isn't the point. You have to take this moment, RIGHT NOW, and decide what it's about and where it will take you.

Right now, I'm free to decide. Yeah, I've made bad decisions. Haven't we all? But I've got this time to decide what trajectory I'm going to set myself on. And I build that with every new decision. So, I hope this makes sense, let's just do all we can now to make the most of things. And don't let anything about your past tell you that's just not possible because you're too deep into some old habits. We have the ability to rise above, thank God!

Now, let's talk about something really serious. It is hotter than blue blazes outside! Tony and I got a sweet offer last weekend -- my mentor's pool! She let us take it over for the afternoon and that really hit the spot.

Tony is hilarious. He wanted to lay out, but we couldn't find an inflatable raft. So he improved:

I, on the other hand, improvised in another way. I couldn't find a towel, but I could find a snuggie. (Don't judge me, you know your laundry gets behind sometimes! :) ) That Christmas present finally came in handy.

Ok, a few fun food tips:

**Try liquid stevia. I went to a work lunch and one of the PR ladies let me have a squirt in my tea. AMAZING! Zero-calorie, plant-based goodness.

**Are you loving the summer fruit? Because I am!

Since life has been a little hectic (Do I always say that? Well, it is.), I've decided to try to unwind over the weekend. My friends are headed out of town for a day trip Saturday. But on Sunday I'm doing candlelight yoga! (See google pic.)

Yoga, for me, is extremely relaxing. Candlelight? Extremely relaxing. What is this combination going to be like?!

More later.

Hope everyone is enjoying this week!

Running and Longing for Fall (Erin)

Just a quick post to say I'm still here. I will post more later, but I do want to talk about how things are going in general.

I have continued to run via interval training, and my running has continued to improve.

I've ultimately decided not to push myself to run 3 miles by mid-November. (When Ally and I are registered to compete in our first 5k.) It's just not a nice thing to do to my body. That doesn't mean I'm not striving to improve and amp up my training efforts; it just means I'm listening to my body. My knees are a little creakier than normal, so I've been careful not to overdo it. I'm going to be consistent in my training and incorporate rest days and stretches so my body recovers well. As I lose weight and get in shape I'm sure the distance and eventually speed will come. No worries. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'll get to a 3-mile run, just maybe not within the time frame I was originally looking at.

I am down 46 pounds and very happy with it. I've got to keep going, but there's something about having goals that don't deal with weight loss directly -- like running, yoga, and even taking on healthy cooking as a hobby -- that really makes it less painful to lose slowly. I'm enjoying myself.

This week I have had that deep, unmistakable longing for...autumn! Me and hot weather are not in love with each other. The heat likes to melt my makeup away (as if I hadn't bothered to put myself together) and give me the faint stinch of a 13-year-old boy after gym class if I dare to linger outside for more than, say, 30 seconds. And I like to talk bad about it while sitting in an air conditioned building. It hasn't been fun going on outdoor runs (I try to alternate gym and outdoor runs) in these dead-of-summer temps.

Since I am missing fall oh-so-much I made a pot of chili to take to work for lunches this week. It has been really satisfying. I pack it full of beans and diced tomatoes as well as lean beef so I'm actually excited to heat up my lunch and get a taste of my favorite season.

I really hope everyone is doing well. There are so many temptations out there, but there are so many ways to take joy in life that have nothing to do with bad food and comfy couches. I hope we find the joy.

your friend,
Erin

$%#@ (Erin)

I wish I could include the sound of a moan to start this post. A long, exasperated, pathetic moan. It's one of those times I feel full of wish-I-didn't-have-to-confess dread.

I was off work for five days straight. It was amazing. Until it wasn't.

I screwed up. I got off track. It's true. It's shameful. I'm confessing. There was a burger and fries. There was a Mexican feast with chips. Oh, it was a pretty little fall I took down the hill.

And now it's such a Monday. Not only did I have to readjust to my desk -- almost forgot what it looked like -- but I'm trying to get back on track with eating well, too.

I am honest about messing up, because that's life. We're not perfect little robots. (Thank God!) And I try to say this every time this situation arises: Now is not a time to be disappointed, now is a time to prove it was a case of messing up not giving up.

We're bound to fall flat sometimes. It's only a problem when we stay down. So I'm standing back up, dusting myself off, and limping on.

The good thing is I kept working out even though my nutrition was totally off. So I'm whipping up some good food today and trekking with a short run and weight training this evening.

I refuse to let this break me down. (It has threatened to do so, especially since I sacrificed my biggest loser top three spot in all of this. And you know I'm competitive.) But this is my lifestyle now, not just something I'm experimenting with. So a mess up can't be more than a vacation from the normal to me. Giving up on myself and losing all my progress because of a few bad days? That's just not how this story is going to go.

Oh...I wish I had better news for you and me today. But it goes on. And I'm moving along with it...

If you're where I am, let's get back on track. No excuses. Because who you are is primarily made up of what you do most of the time. We can't be defined by slip-ups. We have to look forward and decide who we will be today. Yesterday is history. Today's story is ready to be written.

your friend,
Erin

Mocha Bliss (Erin)

My women's gym is really good about offering coupons for healthy food, product samples, and recipes. It's very encouraging, and it's given me a GREAT recipe to share!

Ally and I have talked before about our love of Starbucks, especially their White Chocolate Mocha. So when I got my latest list of recipes, I was overjoyed to see a recipe for a WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA front and center. It uses the Curves brand vanilla protein powder, but you might be able to find a substitute if you don't have a local Curves gym. (For comparison, Curves protein powder has 120 calories and 15g protein for two scoops.) Check out the recipe:

It is wonderful! And it's packed with protein, so you'll be full a lot longer than you would after a Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha.

Now, let's talk about something that looks like typical diet food and tastes like a treat: black bean burgers! (320 calories, 17g protein, 8g fiber) I am a big guacamole fan, and this brand minimizes the ingredients they put into their guac. I like that because I don't want a ton of chemicals packed in. AND this is a good way of avoiding my nemesis, chips. I load the guac onto each bite, and I get a lot more nutrition out of the bread and black bean burger than I would from chips. It's a painless way to get veggies in. (Well, avocado is technically a fruit, still...good stuff.)

Quick update on the Biggest Loser competition: I've climbed to THIRD place! :) The skinny girl is still in first, but I figured out who she is and talked to her. The girl went from drinking 12 cokes a day to only drinking water. And she stopped eating out. She's 18 years old, so I hope she sticks to it. It'd be a lot easier to stay in shape than gain weight and lose it later (like me). Anyway, I'm still coming for her first place spot. I hope she's not getting too attached. I can't be shown up by an amateur. ;)

That's really all I wanted to talk about. Hope everyone continues to be encouraged and creative! 

Competition from a Lightweight (Erin)

I mentioned before, I am in a Biggest Loser competition at my gym. Last week's results (our first round of calculations so far) placed me fifth out of 46! I was happy with that. Mainly because I am not going to kill myself to win. I'm going to continue what I've been doing - eating well and exercising according to my new normal lifestyle.

The thing that threw me for a loop is that a skinny girl beat me out -- by twice my score!

*sigh*

Ok, let me count to 10 and breathe for a second. Now, the scores are based on:
**every 0.1% of your weight you lose (That is probably how she got me. It's easier for a heavier person to lose weight, but your weight loss is also a smaller percentage of your weight.)
**drinking 8 servings of water daily
**times you worked out for the week
**number of days you kept a food journal

I know my friends are really sick of hearing me bellyache about my Biggest Loser standing, but I'm a very competitive person. All I've been saying lately is: "I'm coming for that skinny Allison girl. She's dropping from that top spot. Just give me time. Just give me TIME!" It has to be annoying. But I'm serious. I'm coming for that spot! :)

Ok, seriously, let me count to ten again. My competitive side is fired up about this. I just need a second...

Anyway, here are a few things I've enjoyed lately:

SALMON! I really like broiled salmon cooked very simply (olive oil, salt, pepper -- lemon juice over the top when it's done). I'm sorry this isn't a pretty picture. I had to peel the skin off and that's about the time its visual appeal went downhill. I would've liked brown rice on the side, but I was short on time.

And let's talk about running. I wanted to be comfortably running a mile by now. It was a noble goal, but I'm only jogging between 80-85% of my first mile, and I'm holding at 25% of my second. It's coming along. And I'm going to be patient with the process. I started out struggling to get 25% of my first mile to a run, but now I'm up to nearly 85% in about two months. That's progress. The rest will come in time.

I have to share this semi-disgusting accomplishment. I judge my workouts by the sweat stain left behind - it's gross, but it really makes me proud to see a physical indication of how hard I've worked. This is how much more intense my  workout has become according to the sweat stain:

 

One last thing: I'm coming for you, Allison. Although I am proud of you, and you do look fabulous.